Is it weird to say that I never really thought I’d live to this age?
Not that I thought I would die before my 21st birthday, but I never thought about what my life would be like at this age.
Similarly, the idea of me being 50 years old one day is unimaginable.
So once the day comes and you add another candle on top of your cake, how do you deal with the inevitable….aging?
My whole life I’ve been told that I’m wise beyond my years. I actually hate being told that, but today I’ll tap into it and share 21 things that I’ve learned in my 21 trips around the sun. We won’t see this as the end of the journey, of course, but more like a checkpoint along the way.
1. There’s no such thing as ‘finding yourself’
You’ll be searching for treasure that was never buried. Create yourself. That way, you’re in control of your fate and identity. And, it’s a lot more fun.
2. There’s no such thing as failure
The universe doesn’t reward or punish you for you actions because the universe doesn’t have an agenda. When things don’t go as planned, learn from it. Then, you’ll never “fail”.
3. End things on the right note so that you don’t miss it later
For example, go to every football game, dance, and prom and join every club you like in high school. Live it up with no regrets so that you don’t end up being that alum that never leaves high school. Or if you end a relationship, friendship, etc., have a concluding conversation and wish each other the best. It’s made my heart less heavy.
4. The world is so much bigger than we give it credit for
If you ever get to fly internationally, try to stay awake the whole plane ride over an ocean. It was actually torture for me, but it forces you to realize how damn big this planet is. Let that humble you when your own world is crashing down.
5. Allow yourself to feel everything, even the painful things
Feeling pain can fucking suck, but humans were given the ability to feel grief, pain, bliss, and sorrow, so why would we restrict ourselves of our nature? If your healing process sucks at first, you’re doing it 100% right.
6. Self-care is not always glamorous
Sometimes it’s correcting your behaviors, cleaning your room to declutter your mind, or isolating yourself for a little bit (but not for too long).
7. Apple juice is better than orange juice
And that’s fax, no printer.
8. Days, weeks, months, and years feel like they happen faster as you get older
So carpe diem, amirite?
9. Family isn’t always blood
Family can be whoever makes you feel safe.
10. Money makes the world go ’round
Sad isn’t it?
11. None of the shit you do in your teen years really matter later on.
Still do your best, but you really get to reinvent yourself in your 20s. I wish 16 year-old Manyi wasn’t so hard on herself.
12. Stop treating yourself with small things when you can save up for a big reward
For example, stop buying McChickens when you can save that $1 to buy Happy Hour Margaritas in Cancun on Spring Break?
13. People will fuck you over no matter how well you treat them, don’t let it break you
Wearing your heart on your sleeve is not a bad thing. Vulnerability shows strength, contrary to popular belief.
14. Love doesn’t always have to be romantic, platonic love can be just as filling
Being loved genuinely, unabashedly, and openly by a friend can be enough
15. Be extra nice to retailer employees and fast food workers, they need it the most
Especially Popeyes workers. This chicken sandwich thing is beyond ridiculous.
16. The universe will not reward you for being a good person
So do it from the kindness of your heart. The world needs a lot more of it.
17. You don’t always have to be strong and independent
Therapists have therapists, too!
18. Be unabashedly yourself.
It’s so cliche, but I wasn’t able to do so until I got to college and it’s made all the difference in my self confidence!
19. The world will never be perfect, so find the beauty in the imperfections
Especially with how shitty the world has been lately, we all really need to
20. Never serve your people more than you serve yourself
You can’t pour into other vessels if you’re empty. I often feel the need to give back to others, but never put them before yourself.
21. Coldplay said it best, “Life is a wonderful adventure”
I’ll be bumping the Head Full of Dreams album all day.
Year 20 has been such a growth year for me. I did some of the things I’ve always wanted to do, like book a trip on a whim to California, starting a blog, and more. It was also really hard for me at times with my huge family problems, finally going to get help for the depression and anxiety that I’ve been quietly wishing away since I was nine years old, and regaining self-worth after a situationship. Despite the negatives, I can honestly say that this was the best year of my *young adult* life so far and I can’t wait to see what Year 21 brings.
Carpe Diem – Seize the Day!
Manyi.